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Nevertheless -- Episode 6: Push-Pull Cycle

I'm a firm believer that consensual adults are free to have the type of relationship or nonrelationship that works for them as long they aren't doing it to hurt someone else. However, I'm not okay with the kind of push-pull cycle between Park Jae Eon, Bit Na want, and even Ji Wan and Yoon Sol. All three, Ji Wan, Bit Na, and Jae Eon push Nabi and Kyu Hyun and Sol away when they think they are getting too close, but when they pull away become cold and distant, they want to pull them back in again and restart the unhealthy cycle all over again. Whatever issues they seem to be battling, I think it's only fair they try and fix them first before dragging someone else into them to satisfy their self need to feel wanted.

I fully understand that Jae Eon and Bit Na must have massive fears of intimacy to keep reinitiating their pursuits of Nabi and Kyu Hyun whenever they feel like they may be slipping away. But then Nabi and Kyu Hyun must also have fears of abandonment to want to continue to be in that kind of cycle. It's almost like neither of them believes they deserve better, so they cling to this most miserable and drama-fuelled relation -- they both deserve so much better.

Over time men and women create a narrative about the kind of relationship they want. When they don't see that, they start to gather evidence to support whatever viewpoint they have; this is particularly obvious with Kyu Hyun and Bit Na. What he sees as uncaring may simply be Bit Na's relationship style, which doesn't necessarily make it right, nor does it make it wrong. But if they both genuinely care for each other, they will need to recognize the trust and intimacy issues among them, accept and address their fears. I hope Bit Na doesn't break Kyu Hyun's heart.

The same goes for Ji Wan. I am not sure if she even recognizes her feelings for Yoon Sol as more than friendship, but whether she does or not, it's unquestionably more than just friends. I admire Yoon Sol; she knows what she wants and is willing to do whatever to protect it. I loved how she subtly yet reassuringly placed her hand over Ji Wan at the restaurant with Yoo Se Ho. I could feel Ji Wan being comforted by it. I feel for Yoo Se Ho.

I liked that Nabi decided to separate herself from the hurtful situation she put herself in, even if the reason that finally pushed her to it may not have been the truth. But more than that, I loved that she had the chance to see a different perspective of a caring, intimate interaction between a man and a woman is through Yang Do Hyuk; everything about him works, especially the tenderness in his eyes when he looks at Nabi to the gentleness in his touch and words. I want so much for Nabi to fall for him. She deserves to have some like him in her life as he does her.

Yes, being physically attracted to someone is important. Still, for real attraction to remain everlasting, it needs more than just the physical, but a combination of emotional and spiritual connection along with friendship and other qualities. In that sense, what Park Jae Eon's mom said to him made me realize it isn't Nabi that needs the time away; it's Jae Eon. He truly needs to separate himself from the unhealthy situations he keeps putting himself in and begin to conquer his fears, know and love himself better to allow others to love him. I don't want Nabi to end up in the same situation she was in before with Park Jae Eon, but I am not sure if she is at a place where she can recognize the difference between physical attraction and real lasting attraction. Watch Episode 6 here.



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